Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Men's Room Etiquette

You know, sometimes someone does something that makes me stop and ponder if the filter in the genetic pool is functioning properly.

Let me paint this picture for you. Most Friday nights I participate in a sanity saving exercise at the local country & western club. Good company, usually okay bands, decent exercise. Gives me the chance to escape the gremlins of life. But something happened this past Friday night that made me think about the gene pool filter.

Men's Room Etiquette 101

Without going into the fine intricacies of what actually should happen in the men's room, there are some basic rules that should be followed.

Let me give you the layout of this men's room. As you enter, on the left wall are 4 urinals. On the back wall are 2 stalls. On the right wall there are 2 urinals and on the front wall there are 3 sinks. Not a complicated layout at all.

I enter the men's room and there's 1 guy in there using urinal #4 (the far urinal) on the left wall. I have 2 real choices, either of which will allow me a large buffer zone between myself and the other person in the men's room as well as provide respect for his personal business. I could go into a stall, but since those are primarily reserved for urination only when the men's room is full, I choose a urinal on the right wall next to a sink.

As I begin, guy #1 finishes up and starts to wash his hands when guy #3 enters. He basically has the same choices I had earlier. Go into a stall or use a urinal on the opposite wall. This is where things get quirky.

Guy #3 saddles up in the urinal next to me on the right side. This is completely out of line. It's what he does next that just baffles me. HE LOOKED OVER THE PARTITION.

By this time, guy #1 has dried and left. Somewhat flustered, I make eye contact with guy #3 (something only done in extreme circumstances when one or more of the parties is in active use of a urinal) and I ask him quite matter of factly, "Have you lost something?" Guy #3 quickly snaps to the front and stares at the wall for the duration.

I finish up and wash up and guy #3 leaves without a flush or a wash.

Having been invaded and violated, my thoughts of revenge were soon put to rest when I exited the men's room to see guy #3 dancing with a woman, the song ending. I encounter the woman and say to her, "I think you should go wash your hands because he doesn't wash his."

After a brief look of surprise, she thanks me and proceeds directly to the ladies room, never to dance with guy #3 again.

Test your own Men's Room Etiquette.

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